I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to write my first written post, but I’ve had some massive changes in my life recently and it’s taken me some time to adjust. I’ve been blessed with an opportunity to work with one of Australia’s top designers while they go through a big transition which has been amazing.

This has taken me out of my comfort zone working from home, having time freedom and the safety bubble of routine and structure which has kept my illness managed and at bay – back to being in a full time working environment abiding by someone else’s timetable and rules. It’s been challenging to say the least.

On the outside, the mask I’ve put on is one of success, happiness and management and on some days, the inside matches. But on the outside, the turmoil is starting to become more prevalent of late.

I’ve become more restless, feel highly strung, my speech patterns are changing, I’m imagining conversations that never happened and have been feeling more emotionally unstable – unable to control my emotional responses. All signs of an “upward trajectory toward mania” as my Doctor so eloquently put it.

People with mental illnesses, especially Bipolar, learn to wear masks to hide their emotions from the ones they love as much as from strangers. It’s a defense mechanism to hide the crazy, so we can fit in… But it also allows us to get through the day so we can deal with our reality the best way we know how.

When I launched All About Missy, I was in a great headspace, I was so excited about the focus of the blog and everything I had planned.

Over the years, I’ve been blessed to work with some amazing clients but the contracts have only ever lasted a few days at the most so I’ve also had the time to focus on the creative work that I wanted to do, which has always been crucial to my healing and health. And I believe that creative therapy should form part of anyone’s treatment who suffers from a mental illness.

With the taking on of this new role, I’ve sadly lost my time free lifestyle and without intention have not been able to dedicate the time and love to this new concept blog that I had wanted. This has caused me a great deal of stress as I find it very calming and therapeutic. As a result, I have found that my anxiety has reared it’s ugly head and that feeling of being overwhelmed has returned. All symptoms of stress – a major enemy of Bipolar.

With the recent news of a local well known successful business woman taking her own life due to depression, it made me realise again just how important it is to educate about what it is like living with a mental illness and to openly talk about the good and the bad days. So i’m actively working on improving my time management skills so I can bring that to you.

In the meantime, please keep up to date on Instagram @allaboutmissy and be kind to others.

Peace, Love and Empathy – Missy x